Last June, myself and Packin’ Heat partner Jenny Caloca threw our annual East Side, gay pride party downtown, a la ‘Homo Arigato.’ It was an amazing event promoting Japanese culture, local artists, and the web launch of tokyowrestling.com. (where you can also read these reviews). A beautiful international partnership was forged and Outfest press passes were finagled. (Thank you Yuki!) If you did not get a chance to meet the girls of Tokyo Wrestling while they were in LA, here is your chance to get acquainted with a major force in promoting lesbian culture in Japan. (I will wait. whistling...)
Here’s where I do shame to all writers, and where you my friend should grab that second cocktail I talked about earlier.
Um...highlights: the hilarious ‘how to’ film of Mary Guzman ‘Worst Case Scenario: Butch Edition’. I couldn’t wait to see more do’s and don’ts of Butch etiquette via 50’s inspired black and white scenarios. The earring scene killed me. I wanna say netflix that shit quick, but maybe you can only ‘you tube’ it, oh well. ‘FTF:Female to Femme' was an equally comical journey. I say journey because although it did bring to light the gut wrenching tales of women struggling to find their Femme identity in a world wrought with unacceptance of heels and make up, (oh you poor, poor femmes), I felt it was a little long to be a short. (dissin’ femmes = great way to get yerself laid!)
Leslie Mah: closet femme
Although I did want to pee in my pants with laughter, I did make it to the bathroom, but only to lose my shit over Anna Margarita Albelo’s Dinah Shore mock doc, ‘A Lez in Wonderland’. My banana suit and I still recovering from this year’s Dinah, Albelo took us down memory lane, to a Dinah of yesterqueer. If there was a film to be made about Dinah, and the right way to do it, this gal captured it perfectly. Brilliantly sandwiched between her mimed journey in the desert, Albelo with the cutest accent ever, candidly and comically uncovers what really does happen ‘when 10,000 women meet in Palm Springs for Dinah Shore weekend..’ To which I question, what happens when 10,000 mostly lesbian women meet anywhere? In any case, they sure ain’t watchin’ no golf!
(See below for interview with Anna Margarita)
Double Trouble! Anna LaChocha!
photo courtesy of Alexandra Gibson
Albelo is a tough act to follow, but if you stuck around after the free bar (THANK YOU OUTFEST, THANK YOU!!!), you were in for a real treat. It is rumored that Michelle Johnson’s masturbaitorial film debut…‘Triple X Selects: the Best of Lezsploitation’ actually shut down the local sex shop post screening. Even before the film had driven everyone into a methed up fuck frenzy state, role play was already abound. A barrage of lovely ladies actually found time to dress to the 9’s in support of their favorite characters of Johnson’s strapping masterpiece.
To the 9's! the 6-9's!
photo courtesy of Alexandra Gibson
Mostly arranged of the 'Off Ramp' fashionistas and burlesque troupe, ‘The Miracle Whips,’I got to see an entertaining real life reenactment of ‘Female to Femme’ pre show at Mad-Dawg's house during cocktails. And then of course, ‘F to F, Butch Edition' followed as their handsome counterparts debated on the melting point of spirit glue on an LA summer nite. To 'stache or not to 'stache? Uh, don’t act like you butches don’t need a fashion support group too!
Les Whips
Oh yeah, film not fashion. A long time hobby turned international film favorite, the body of work compiled by local dj, Michelle Triple X, showcases the finest of three decades of soft core b movie porn perfectly matched to each segment and Johnson’s fine collection of licorice pizza.
you 'member licorice pizza stores? wow, you're old.
Licorice Pizza. Delicious Vinyl. Hot Wax = 'record' . do you remember records? You're even older.
Man, I just love discovering the many secret talents of lesbians, and anyone whose hobby actually turns into somethin’ big. 69’ing nuns, dildos bein’ passed between jail cells, lesbos vampyros, and probably the best ride through Bush Gardens ever! Although most of these movies were made for hetero male enjoyment, Michelle thankfully cut the Johnson out of these films, to reclaim them for dykes and the people who love them. Hot shit.
'Vampyros Lesbos' Translation: 'damn I want in there!'
Wednesday and Thursday Nite at the Echo: ‘Boom!’ Outfest’s first of it’s kind grandscale music festival was spearheaded by the local fave’d Lavender Diamond and brought home with a long awaited performance by Portland area'd Team Dresch. Amongst other highlights, and high life’s, your ears would have been graced by Becky Stark, lead singer of Lavender Diamond, Red Car, Emily Wells, Vivek Shraya (album produced by Meghan Toohey), and multi-talented members of Addicted to Fiction’s harder core lovechild, We Float. Despite some sound (and other issues, and by issues I mean drama!) on Wednesday nite, you could catch some amazing local music between the snow and shit storms, if ya know what I mean.
+
= good times!!!
Thursday’s events seemed to be more together, and energy driven, as noted single handedly by the barrage of excited comments and eager beavers on Team Dresch’s myspace site. Each of whom I’m sure was in the audience, and rightfully vindicated. Contrary to rumor, there were no highly anticipated crowd ‘floaters’ during We Float, but the members of the ‘Miracle Whips’ traded their 70’s garb for an onstage, sexy Zorro-esque tribute to Sonic Youth via ‘Kool Thing’. Although dildo’s were not used in place of swords (wah), the We-Whips proved a deadly combination, each using their not so secret weapon to stir the crowd into a frenzy…rock and ass, respectively.
The 'We Whips'
And now I find myself in a tipsy daze, but must go on as the highly anticipated ‘Girls Shorts’ are showing at the DGA. God, i forgot what a bitch it was to drive anywhere in this town on a Friday!
Jane Lynch in 'Love is Love'. Best in blow.
But for you Jane, anything...I think ‘Love is Love’ (dir. Anne Renton) should be shown in every high school along with those really bad sex education films (which in turn should be replaced with ‘Worst Case Scenario: Butch Edition’!). Not only to help young people start seeing sexuality from different perspectives early on, but also to see what would happen if (gasp!) the heteros were the minority in a gay dominated society! So good, and duh, Jane Lynch! With all the cameos of gay icons (ie Guinevere Turner and Jane Lynch) in this festival, I really think there needs to be a subset called ‘Guin-fest’. Sorry Jane, ‘Lynchfest’ no sound so good. Also, check out another homie spotted in a film: Valerie Hurt of 'The Beth and Val Show,' in not her first nude bedroom scene! Holla!
Anyhoo, Calpernia Addams brings every (transsexual or not) actors’ worst casting calls to a brilliant satirical lisp, I mean light, in ‘Casting Pearls’ (dir. Andrea James). And ‘Long Ago' (dir.Christy Wegener), when rat tails were only second to the mullet as bad fashion dyke staples, we can laugh at the shallowness and severity of lesbian fashion faux paus’. (Not to mention, a hot cameo of our hot little Tamale at Chango). Ironically, these struggles are confided by the main character in an older barkeep, who’s mullet commands more respect than that time you had to use Palmolive as lube.
'Long Ago'. Rat tales
Hang tight here, the best is last and then I’m poppin a couple Tylenol PM’s even though it is only 2pm and I need to make it to Itty Bitty by 7:30.
Always working...with Michelle Johnson of 'Best of Lezsploitation' at 'Itty Bitty' at the Ford
‘Pariah,’ (dir. Dee Rees) a smaller version of a feature soon to be in the works, showcases the struggles of growing up as a gay woman of color in New York. Although, filmed in Brooklyn and the Bronx, I think the story commands the suspension of geography to represent the main character’s, ‘Lee’, or rather ‘Aleeka,’ struggle in any big city regardless of temporal or spatial bounds. This film had me in tears, as I watched Lee change her clothes from butch to femme to please and hide her sexual identity from her parents, and then back again to maintain her friendship/butch identity with her older butch mentor and, most importantly, all the hot ladies in her cell phone. The film expresses the one thing all queer people have in common, coming out, but through the eyes and scenarios of two (brilliantly cast) young African American women, in a most moving, unique, and powerful way.
'Pariah'. Good shit.
Getting socked in the face by your father for being gay is no coming out party.
But thank God Outfest is. And thank God there is such a venue to show these films and potentially get them funding for bigger and wider releases and features. And more importantly to highlight all facets of the LGBT community; butch, femme, black, white, brown, pink (as in the 'Pariah' dildo), and so on. I only touched on a miniscule amount of amazingness (that is a legit word now ok). I am exhausted, but elated to have been able to see all these films and performances, and q and a’s, and Heinekens, and absoluts, and interviews, and more Heinekens, and press photos. And so F Tylenol PM, I will now try to look for the vicodin I hid from myself after Dinah Shore. Then I will chase it with a few Sofia Mini's, which, as Guinevere Turner (not to be missed at next years ‘Guin-fest’!) would agree, like Outfest, is the Champagne of Queers!
Cheers!
'Guin-fest '08' (ps, don't kill me for this)
SEE OPENING NITE AND OTHER OUTFEST FOTOS HERE!
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