hello blog!

hello my little blog. i know it's been awhile since i've written you. i don't really think anybody reads this jazz, so it's nice to know you are my little mental sanctuary, especially when i'm mental. so first things first, so much has happened. oh by the way, I do love me some Calpernia Addams, contrary to the lisp remark below. this lady is pure sunshine, so love her: http://www.calpernia.com/ NOW! ok, maybe after you read this, which i'm sure you'd be better off not, as i am pretty dry right now.

so today as i was going to the gym for the first time in months, i park my car on Hobart south of wilshire and some bum is there hasslin' peops. first he tries to get money from this couple who were leaving, then as they drive away he starts sayin shit like 'yeah damn baby that was a fine piece of ass, i'd bang that shit all nite, ummmph!' i rethink parking there, but just making it to the gym is a battle, and if i start drivin', i probably won't go in. the beauty of this town is that you can blame anything on parking.

so out of sheer laziness i park there and sho nuff the dude makes a b line for me (of course he calls me 'sir', as for some reason all streetfolk do) and right away i say 'no'. he's clearly methed up to the b'jesus and he's comin right at me, as i have dropped my lighter (yes, i do enjoy a good smoke before my cardio) in my haste to get away from the bastard. i hussle to get away from him and he starts sayin 'yeah oh yeah, you gon have a fine day in the gym. work it out girl work it out.' that goes on for my whole walk to the gym. ironically, i'm sure if i had a puff of whatever he was on, i woulda had a way better work out.

anyhoo, this is boring, so i'll make it quick. i come back after my whole 40 minutes in le gym and my vagrant cheerleader is walking by my car, almost like he waited for me. where's my smoothie bitch? damn, at least give me a protein bar. no, all he says is 'damn girl you worked it out, yeah, real good, ummmph!' why couldn't i have gotten 'damn that's a fine ass!' like the other girl. clearly i should have stayed in the gym about 20 minutes longer. so he walks by me and i think nothing of it till i go to my car and bam! my whole right side of my windshield is cracked and my door too. yeah, that's a coincidence.





of course no one 'saw anythin'. so i call the 911 as most white people like to do in not so life threatening situations like this. but we all know that shit's a joke. so i go lookin' for the guy. like what am i supposed to actually do when i see him? i'm sure i could make up some funny scenarios here to make this blog not so dry, but seriously, i'm just pissed. see, this is why i never make it to the fuckin' gym!